Funny

Being a parent is often hilarious. I spend a lot of time just laughing at the things Jack invents, makes up, lies about, or does on a daily basis. Being a parent is also very challenging - it's the hardest thing I've ever done and I'm pretty sure Justin feels the same way. It's a different kind of challenge, because it's not just physical (like a sport or a race), it's not just mental (like a test or a project) and it's not just emotional (like watching The Notebook and Notting Hill back to back.) It's all of those things rolled up into one, thrown at you 24 hours a day/7 days a week.

I feel like we've adjusted fairly well to life with two kids but I feel out of control a lot. Like I am constantly running from one task to another, from one kid to another, from one disaster to another. The only real "downtime" I get is the hour when Jack is going to sleep (he still needs one of us in his room for awhile to help him relax) so we fight over who gets the relaxation time on the computer in the dark - me reading Mommy blogs online or Justin playing his new video game. :)

Tonight I found a hilarious article (warning: language) that describes how I feel about parenthood a lot of the time. The author is trying to describe how you could possibly ever prepare for having kids (if that's even possible.) Here are highlights:

• Practice wrestling a large, slippery fish three times a week.
• Wake up every two hours at night, punch yourself in the face, walk around for 28 minutes pleading in jibberish. Go back to "sleep." Repeat.
• Socialize with friends in 18-second increments.
• Practice asking for the check, boxing up your food and exiting a restaurant in under sixty seconds — two bites into the meal.
• Watch 38% of any film or television show; never see the ending or resolution.
• Read the same three paragraphs of a novel once every two weeks; fall asleep.
• Shower every three to five days, but only for two minutes.
• Hire a makeup artist to make you up to look 10 years older. Look at yourself in the mirror, then laugh, cry, laugh, cry, laugh, cry. Do not go get a drink.
• Pack two additional bags of random stuff to carry with you every time you leave the house.
• Stand around a tennis court and catch fly balls with one hand for two hours a day while also preparing a peanut butter sandwich.
• Practice wrestling aforementioned large, slippery fish, then dress it in seasonally appropriate outfit, including hat and/or jacket. Then go back, remove all clothing, and apply sunscreen. Re-dress fish.
• Memorize The Cat in the Hat, then repeat every evening between 7 p.m. and 8 p.m.
• Make 24 hours of baby-crying audio; hit play the moment you take a phone call, fire up your computer, or begin speaking any sentences to another human that contain important or useful information.

This is not meant to scare my new-Mommy friends - and I am truly sorry if it does. It just means that life is about to change ... or for us, has changed... forever. Sure, Jack may wake me up a million times a night (last night at 4am: standing two inches from my face yelling "MOMMY! WAKE UP! MOMMY! WAKE UP!" while simultaneously hitting me with his taggie) but I still love seeing his sweet little face. And Caroline may still need me many, many times a night and constantly during the day, and I may feel very overwhelmed often, but I take one look in those little blue eyes and it's all worth it. Justin and I may have forgotten what each other looks like, seeing as how he sees me for approximately 20 minutes a day when I am not asleep, trying to go to sleep, or being grumpy about being woken up from my sleep. One day, I think, we will look back and say "remember when our kids were little? Where did the time go?" For now... well...

I hear crying from one of their bedrooms. Back to the trenches. ;)