terrible 3's??

I am sharing a recent post by one of my sorority sisters from GT and a dear friend of mine. She has a daughter who is 3, and she is dealing with the exact same things that I am with Jack right now. A light switch flipped recently, and our sweet, smart, engaging little boy has turned into a monster. (Sorry, Gigi, I can only hope he's better for your visit...I really need the extra hands!) I am at the end of my rope...and I don't type that lightly.

We always knew Jack was strong-willed and stubborn. I like to say he takes after his Daddy in that way, because while I am a people-pleaser who hates conflict, Justin is much more stubborn. (Sorry, honey.) I could give a hundred examples of what life in our house is like lately, but here are just two:

1. Yesterday afternoon before Justin got home, Jack was playing in his room. He has a little toy flashlight with interchangeable plastic pieces that shine different animals on the wall. Everything was calm and happy, I was nursing Caroline and Jack was playing quietly. All of a sudden I hear screaming, like someone was ripping him limb to limb, and everything in his room (it seemed) being thrown against the wall. I tore poor Caroline off and ran in to find him having an absolute meltdown over the fact that the light in his flashlight went out because the batteries were dead. And when I say meltdown, I mean meltdown. He overturned every basket of toys in his room (there are 5 and they are HEAVY.) He tore all the covers off his bed. He threw himself against the wall and kicked it multiple times, until he gave himself bruises on his legs. He threw cars at me. I tried to console him with hugs and he punched me in the boob. All of this while tears streamed down his face and he sobbed hysterically. Finally, I left him alone to calm down and this hysteria went on for almost an hour.

2. Today is my birthday. Justin was being sweet and trying to do everything this morning like getting Jack dressed and ready for school. Jack only wanted to cut a piece of printer paper and make a paper airplane. We were getting pressed for time and we told him no. This caused the same massively hysterical tantrum. He loves school and loves to go...and he was crying and yelling at the top of his lungs that he will "NEVER GO TO SCHOOL! I HATE SCHOOL!" He ran outside and threw himself down on the concrete step and refused to move, yelling at the top of his lungs. Justin tried to reason with him - no. I tried to console him - no. Finally it took Justin's brute force to strap him into the car.

So - this is where we are. It's a 4 or 5 times-a-day occurrence now. I thought it was lack of sleep, so I made him sleep more. It hasn't helped. I thought maybe he's in a growth spurt or something, but it's lasted longer than 3 weeks now. I honestly don't know what to do. I would love any advice or helpful information. I am home all day with the kids and sometimes it's amazingly awesome to watch them grow and play...but lately it's a blur of crying and yelling at me and it's really grating. I need to have more patience. I have to somehow keep calm in the face of his fury. Lindsey (blog above) is much more eloquent than I am at writing how she feels...but I assure you, it's exactly the same. I hope that I can write soon about how we've overcome this. Being a parent is challenging and it throws you curve balls when you least expect it. This is one, and it's a hard one.

Happenings

So it's been awhile since my last post. We've had a busy week...although I am not really sure why! We spent a lot of time playing with Bagel the Beagle, taking him for walks, chasing him through the neighborhood when he ran away (yes), trying to convince Jack that he's too little to walk the dog and failing, consoling Jack when the dog pulls him over or down, and going to the park. Bagel goes home tomorrow, and Jack is going to be heartbroken. The first thing he asks when I pick him up from school is "can we go walk my dog Bagel?" and when he wakes up in the morning, it's "Mom, let Bagel out, he has to go potty like me." Sigh. The poor kid...

Caroline is doing wonderfully! She still isn't a huge fan of solids but I am trying every day. She is super happy and giggly and still our awesome, content, calm little girl. She turned 5 months old on the 17th (YES, 5 months!! How is that possible??) and she learns new things every day. She loves to grab things, put them in her mouth, chew on her hands, and grab her various body parts that she's just discovered. (She loves pinching her own fat rolls on her belly in the bathtub. It's hilarious.) She's growing and nursing great and just generally such an amazing baby! We are so blessed - and we do remember that every day.

And me. Hmm, how much to divulge? I have been struggling with lots of things lately, including super intense anxiety, bits of depression, and general feelings of unsettledness (is that a word?) I am antsy and irritable and angry a lot. I also have a LOT of pain around and inside of my c-section incision. I didn't realize how bad it really was until Justin started noticing. Things like wearing normal pants with a real waistband, bending over, having Caroline's legs touch that area when I change her, etc are super painful. It brings tears to my eyes, causes me to double over or wince in pain, and you can imagine the impact that has on all the other parts of my life. I finally went back to my doctor, at Justin's insistence. The incision itself has always looked great so I figured it was just normal healing. She gave me a full exam and found some things that concerned her with my abdomen, including what she thinks is a large ovarian cyst on my right side. I have an appointment on October 3 at the hospital for a special ultrasound to look at that, and my scar tissue internally. From there we will talk about treatment options. I am just so thankful to have it inspected, because it has been causing me a lot of pain, and from what the doctor says, is probably contributing to my mood issues as well. So I will keep you updated. Who knew that you could have complications 5 months after your baby was born?? 

Here are some recent snapshots. Enjoy!

Big boy undies all the time now! (except for sleeping.) YAY!!!

Walking Bagel.

At the park. Sorry it was dark :)

More walking the dog.

Jack gave Bagel his taggies. Adorable.

I just loved his sweet morning hair :)

I bought miniature barettes. Not QUITE ready yet.

I enrolled Jack in Tuff Tumblers at his school. His first day, he learned a somersault!

"My dog"...oh no.

Aunt Sissy made Caroline an FSU tutu!

She loved it so much she tried to eat it.

Happy Hollow part 345

Today it was a beautiful day in the Bay Area, so we took the kids to Happy Hollow for the morning. It was Caroline's first trip. I had stopped taking Jack because he was too short for all the rides he wanted to go on, and I felt so bad when he'd cry because he couldn't do them.

 

 

Excited about her first trip!

Stopping to pet the tortoise (turtle to Jack.)

 Guess who grew?! JACK CROSBY!!!! He is now tall enough for all the rides! He was so, so excited.

Waiting in line with Daddy for the roller coaster!

Pure joy. He loved every single second.

 Next we moved on to the Frog Hopper, another ride he'd been too little for just a few short months ago. He loved every second of this one too! We have ourselves a little daredevil.

He convinced Mommy to ride the roller coaster this time.

On the big swings!

More Frog Hopper.

More roller coaster.

More Frog Hopper. Mommy's tummy got a workout!

Yup, more!

Saying yo to Danny the Dragon.

We visited these a lot. And no accidents! Jack wore his big boy undies ALL DAY. We are so proud!!!

Potty time

I am writing tonight from the floor of Jack's room. He's trying super hard to go to sleep but it's not working. It could be awhile...he's singing the ABC's to himself.

Anyway, today was a very good, very big day. Jack woke up, took off his PJ pants and his diaper, and went to his potty. He pooped all by himself with no prompting or asking from us. It was amazing. I gave him lots (and lots and lots) of praise and decided that this is it. No backing down, no reverting to diapers - we are just going to do this thing. So I put him in underwear and haven't looked back. We went to Chick Fil A and Target, ran our usual errands, and by making a point to visit every restroom along the way, he's had a great day. No accidents, except for one right before bed while he was watching TV, and only because he was very distracted. He has done beautifully and I am assuming that this is the end of diapers for us!

The chart we made together. Only little boys want pictures of poop and pee.

Washing his hands.

Here are some more snapshots from our day. I feel very accomplished and proud of myself and of Jack. I also feel just a little bit sad. It's the very last bit of his baby-ness that's leaving us. I have another baby, in Caroline, but she's growing up so fast too. It makes my heart ache just a tad.

Pop-Pop has this obsession with Flipper (the old show.) So I bought this shirt
just because I couldn't resist it in honor of him :)

Painting outside. In big boy undies!!

The pumpkin is going to turn into a carriage soon.

Where I make Justin sleep when he's bad. Just kidding...the "boys only!" tent!

He thinks its his very own spa chair.

Randomness

Jack's letter sheet from school today. Look at his "L" drawings! He keeps saying
"big line, little line" so I think he remembers :) 

The kids "talking" to each other. I got Caroline this awesome bath seat so that
they can bathe together now. It's a huge hit with both of them! (And
so much easier on my back...)

She couldn't figure out the flash. It captivated her.

Jack's cute bubble butt :)

I don't know what he's doing to her, but look at his super tan hand compared
to her pink baby skin! So funny!

More staring.

And yet, more staring.

She's chewing her bottom lip, like a little old man. This meant teeth for Jack
(but it was at 6 months, not 4!) We will see...she is super Miss Drooly Pants!