Photo Montage

We said goodbye to Gigi tonight, and while I know she will be glad to get back to her house (and her own bed!), we will surely miss her. She helped us out a lot these past few weeks and she snapped some awesome photos of our kiddos. I will try to keep up as the weeks go on and Caroline changes by the day, but I can't promise any this good!!

Silly hat!

Vogue.

First family photo of four!

Jack playing with the sprinklers in the "back-a-yard."

Seriously?? What is this face?!

Giving baby sister kisses. He calls her "baby bumblebee." It's adorable!

Yes, that's her thumb, and yes, she's very good at sucking it! Oh no.

Jack's super dorky outfit. Does he look like Justin or what?!

12 days old!

Why hello there, so nice to see you here.

Jack = super adorable. Caroline = absolutely terrified.

We love our little girl!

Pretty little one.

I think she looks like Mommy here...talking talking talking!

Pretty pink skin. I can't get enough!

Handsome little man.

Please excuse me, I need another nap!!

Caroline... all the guys would say she's mighty fine...

Here are a few videos of Caroline just doing her thing. I am pretty sure she was trying to get to the Taggies on the mat, but maybe I am just being overly ambitious in my assumption :)
She's so adorable!!!

Life with two.

We've been home for almost a week now (time is flying!!) and life with Caroline is great. She is the best baby - so relaxed, calm, and happy most all of the time. She rarely if ever cries (only during cold diaper changes or if she's really, really hungry.) She's sleeping pretty good - I haven't yet established her true "schedule" but for the past few nights she's been going to sleep for good around 11:30pm or midnight, waking up at 3 to eat, and then again at 6:30 or so to eat. It's pretty manageable for me - we get to have morning cuddle time in bed with Jack while we watch TV which is normal for him so that's good!

Jack has been his usual bubbly, loving self. He loves Caroline and always asks where she is or what she's doing. He gets a little rough at times with his petting or wanting to hold her, but he tries his best to be gentle. He has been exceptionally ornery with us - ignoring our requests, saying "no" a lot, and generally being, as Justin puts it, "a pill." I find it hard to have patience with him when I am trying to nurse the baby and all he wants to do is pull on her legs, crawl on the pillow, or his personal favorite, beat me in the back to "help get the milk out!" (??) I know it's an adjustment so I am hoping that every day will get a little easier!

Personally, I seem to be healing well. My incision looks great - I just wish I could take a bath! I would love to soak in a hot tub for awhile, but that's not in the cards until I heal more. I am still on high blood pressure medicine and antibiotics for my UTI, and regular doses of ibuprofen, but I stopped the heavy-duty pain pills on Sunday. Every day I feel much better and much more like my old self. It's so nice to not be lugging around a baby in my belly! I told Justin that I feel like a miniature version of myself. I still have a lot of fluid weight and my belly is definitely round, but I am beginning to be able to wear normal shirts. Yay!!

We have been thankful for all of the help Gigi has provided. She's done wash, cooked lots of meals, done every single dish for 2 weeks now, helped Jack to nap and bed, done bathtime...etc etc etc! She's been a trooper because I know it's not easy to deal with a two year old and a newborn and a moody tired Mommy :)

Justin is back to work and seems to be adjusting well to new fatherhood (times 2!) Overall it's been a week of big adjustments and I know next week will be too, when I have to do everything on my own again. We couldn't ask for a better baby though and we are excited to watch her grow and change every day!

9 days old!

ABCDEFG

Here is a quick video of Jack waiting on the front steps for baby Caroline and Mommy to come home from the hospital. Thought you'd enjoy!!

http://youtu.be/y2wJ-BcPBsc

We are blessed.

Today, we got to come home from the hospital!! While I really enjoyed the royal treatment of nurses getting and doing everything for me, I am excited to be home (even though we are in the middle of a historic heat wave and its about 85 degrees in our house today....sigh.) Justin and I packed everything up (okay, Justin did) and loaded it all into the car. My doctor came and discharged me, with prescriptions for my pain medicine, heavy-duty ibuprofen, and a new script for blood pressure medicine. My blood pressure (surprise surprise) has been high on and off, making my doctor a little nervous. I was on it Friday and Saturday and it helped a little (although it makes me feel kind of high.) I also had some problems (TMI I am sure) with engorged milk ducts and an overactive letdown, but those seem to slowly be resolving themselves as Caroline gets bigger. 

One of the other doctor's in Jack and Caroline's pediatrician practice came by to discharge the baby. She was - shocker! - sleeping. We had a long discussion about how she may be still recovering from delivery, she may just be a sleepy newborn, or if we are very lucky, she may be a truly mellow and calm baby. (Fingers crossed!) Either way, we are going to take it what we can get! If it means I can sleep and still have a semi-normal life during the day, I am all for it! 

The down side of this is that sometimes (every time), someone has to wake her up to make her eat. This involves stripping her naked, changing her diaper, wiping her with warm wet wipes, talking softly in her ear, and rolling her from side to side. There are days, like today, when this just doesn't work. I mean, she slept through her heel prick test for jaundice yesterday! Yes, really. 

Here are a few shots from our day. Gigi got some more good ones once we got home so I will post those later.

Sleeping Beauty!

The middle of the wake-her-up routine...yup, still asleep!!

Awake for Daddy (for once!) 

Is she serious with this pose!?!?? So adorable!

Waiting to have our hospital bands cut off to leave!! YAY!!!

 We drove home and I had forgotten (but remembered quickly) how every single bump in the road made my insides feel like they were falling out. Ouch! Thankfully it's a short drive. When we pulled up, Jack was outside waiting with a big flower in his hand for Mommy. Of course, I started bawling. My pregnancy hormones!!!!! Sometimes Jack just makes me melt.

Helping "my baby sister" put her binky back in her mouth.

SO. HAPPY!!!

In the hospital.

Tonight wraps up our third day in the hospital. I have heard from various doctors that I may be discharged tomorrow, or Saturday, depending on a lot of different factors. I am begging for every extra minute here, because I get to rest, have people bring me medicine at regular intervals, and heal. I know that once I get home, Justin and Gigi will be super helpful but Jack will want his Mommy's attention and it will be very hard for me to slow down enough to recover! 

Justin has spent most every minute with Caroline and me here in our room, but tonight I sent him home with little man to get some rest in a real bed. Poor guy had been sleeping on a pull-out recliner! (Not even a pull-out bed!) I felt bad and I hope he gets some rest too. He told me that he's been waking up every 45 minutes or so at night just to check that she's still breathing, because she's so quiet. He's such a great Dad!

Anyway, lots of things have happened in the past 48 hours. Jack enjoyed quite a few visits with his little sister, and his love and adoration for her grows every day. 

His favorite assessment? She's "so tiny!"

He's been fairly good about understanding why Mommy has to stay here (I showed him my big boo-boo) but he really doesn't get why the baby has to stay too. He keeps asking "can I take her home and play with her now?" It's really adorable.

Caroline has been a completely different baby than Jack. We got about 24 hours of lethargy with him, and then he turned into Mr. Active, even getting kicked out of the nursery at Newton Wellesley because he yelled too loud and woke up all the other babies. His sleep-wake schedule was erratic but also short - he gave me intervals of 2 hours of sleep here or there for the first week or two. 

Miss Caroline (or as I call her now, Miss Prissy Pants) is a sleeping CHAMPION. Seriously, if there was  a baby sleep Olympics, she'd win. She is pretty much only interested in nursing, getting swaddled, and sleeping until she's hungry again. She's yelled a little bit, but not much, and only when we do mean things like change her diaper or her outfit and make her cold.

Angry face #1. 

The "what the heck??" face. 

She's lost a few ounces and was down to 6 lb 4 oz this morning, but I fully expect that to bounce back tomorrow because my milk finally came in! And it came in FAST. I felt it starting at about 9am and by 9:30, I had a full milk supply ready and waiting for baby girl. I had a few problems getting her to latch properly, but she got the hang of it, and now my only problem is that I am making waaaaaaaay too much milk. Hopefully it regulates itself soon and I don't get an infection... we will see!

We learned today that she's a thumb sucker. While Skyping with Pop-Pop and SuSu, I undid her hands from the newborn mittens to show them her super long fingers. Within seconds, she had her right thumb in her mouth and her fingers splayed all over her face. Something tells me that she did this in the womb, especially when Pop-Pop pointed out that the "birthmark" between her eyes is where her pointer finger rests while she sucks. Hmm. Maybe he's onto something! Either way, I am trying to get her to take her binky more now, because getting a little one to stop sucking their thumb is hard (right Uncle Colin?!!) :)

Proud Big Brother! All the nurses love Jack - they give him
stickers and popsicles. :)

 Gigi has enjoyed holding her and working on photographing her, and I can't wait for her to do family pictures once we get home. (Holy cow, how do we have two kids??? It hits me randomly a lot.)

Copyright Annette Crosby, 2012. Doesn't this look professional??

Overall she's been a great baby! A cool, calm, and collected little girl who loves to sleep and eat her hands. :) I look forward to getting to know the little personality that's behind this because I am sure she will be just as awesome and funny as Jack is turning out to be :)

A few parting shots until later...

The tag from her bassinet. 

Doing her best Jack pose. Nighty-night family! Love you all!

Sweet Caroline...

Today was a very special day in our family. We welcomed Caroline Sue Crosby, born at 7:56am (PST), weighing in at 7 lbs even, measuring 18 inches long! She is perfect in every way ... and that's not just Mommy being biased :) 

Justin and I (and Gigi) got up really early. We had to check in at the hospital at 5:30 am, and we blearily made our way to Labor and Delivery. Here's a quick one Gigi snapped on our way...

Ready to be parents x2!

We signed our lives away, got hooked up to a million monitors, and changed into super hot hospital attire for the big morning ahead. This time was much different than last time. With Jack, I was actively in labor and just praying to be next in line for the operating room. This time, we were much calmer and more relaxed, for the most part. They had a bit of trouble getting my IV line in (no surprise, since I hadn't had anything to eat or drink for 8 hours...) and they took a lot of blood, but I figured it was just the beginning of getting poked, prodded, or stuck.

IV in? Check! Waiting to meet the anesthesiologist and Dr. Gould.

Dressed for the occasion! Happy birthday, baby girl...

Justin and I had semi-decided on her name last night, but we wanted to see her face before we were sure. For those of you that are curious, Caroline isn't a family name (we just liked the way it sounded!), but Sue is for the Farrell side of the family, being my mom's middle name.

At around 7:30am, I waddled my way down the hall to the operating room. Last time, I was delirious with pain and completely out of it. I had no idea what was really going on, only that I was going to get pain relief soon. This time, I had plenty of time to look around. It was kind of scary. Hearing the nurses count off the supplies they had laid out (and there were a lot of them!) only added to my nervousness. It was also about -10 degrees in the OR, and I was so cold that I was shaking uncontrollably and my teeth were chattering.

The anasthesiologist finally got all his tools together and swabbed my back (even colder!) The numbing medicine wasn't too bad - just a little sting. I didn't really feel the giant needle for the spinal block either. I was relieved that it wasn't too painful, and the medicine started to take hold pretty quickly. I felt my belly, legs, and feet get warm and relatively numb fast.

They laid me down quickly, and the doctor started her tape recording of my case. "Kelly Crosby, repeat c-section, breech presentation..." then she goes, "Wait! Scratch that!" and I heard all the nurses gasp. Apparently Caroline turned head-down as I laid on the operating table, causing a huge wave in my belly. I was shocked as she hadn't been head down at all during the whole pregnancy! Anyway, the doctor said that she was amazed and had never seen that before, and she went on narrating.

During this, I felt some people touching me. I kept saying "I can feel that! I CAN FEEL THAT!" because I was so panicked that they would start while I wasn't fully numb. I felt the catheter go in (even though the nurse said, "I am only touching you with cotton balls!" Um, BS.) Shortly thereafter, I was truly completely numb, because I smelled the cauterizing going on as she cut. Eek.

So Justin was brought in, and he actually got a lot of the surgery on video (amazing that they let him! Newton Wellesley in Boston wouldn't let him.) I heard a lot of chatter, a little pressure, and then I heard crying! I started bawling because she was so loud, and her cry was so much different than Jack. She was very loud and cried a lot as they took her to the next room with Justin to get dried and wrapped up. They brought her over to me and she was so adorable, and looked exactly like the 4D ultrasound pics! I was amazed in so many ways. We were truly blessed with another miracle.

Getting stitched back up and laying my eyes on baby for the first time. :)

Daddy and Caroline. Love!!!

I was done around 8:30 and they wheeled me into the recovery room. Caroline nursed like a champ for a good 45 minutes or so, with a super powerful latch. I was so happy! Maybe that battle wouldn't be as bad as the one I had with Jack.

I slowly started to feel my legs, toes, and tummy again. Ow! They shot me full of Morphine and Vicodin (in different orders I think, not really sure.) I got lots of IV fluids. They checked my bandages. Everything was great, except my blood pressure, which was sky high (as usual...) They ordered some extra blood work to verify that I didn't have pre-eclampsia. We were in the recovery room for a very long time - almost 3.5 hours.

Postpartum recovery unit. Baby girl was weighed, measured,  and got her eyedrops and shots. 

Gigi stopped by after taking Jack to school and helped us by bringing things we needed and taking some phone pictures to update Facebook (you're welcome!) :) The nurses made her this adorable bow hat out of a few extra hats laying around. So cute!

Sleep. I wish I could sleep like this!

Finally around 12:30, we were wheeled into our permanent room on the mother-baby wing. We had planned to have Jack come right after he got out of school, but there were too many things going on immediately for him to be around, and I really wanted his first moments with his baby sister to be special. A million doctors and nurses came by to check, listen, and inspect every inch of both Caroline and me. I did my first bit of standing up and walking to the bathroom (without passing out this time!) Caroline got her first bath from a super gentle nurse and Daddy. 

Sponge bath time! 

Caroline had her first pee and poop, which is apparently a very big deal. All of her internal systems are working beautifully! And I know Daddy is super excited about all the meconium diapers to come ;) 

Finally, after his nap and a little rest for us, Gigi brought Jack by to meet his baby sister. To say he was absolutely enthralled and obsessed with her is an understatement. Mommy might as well have been chopped liver! He wanted nothing to do with me (other than to see my big boo boo!) and was on to kissing, cuddling, tickling, touching, and admiring his new baby sister. 

The three loves of my life  :) I am so very lucky. 

 Here is a family picture, our first as four. Please excuse me as I am super swollen from the fluids and pain meds, and I haven't really had any sleep in over 36 hours at this point!

Tired, sore, swollen, and STILL the happiest woman alive!!

 Baby girl has done nothing but sleep all day long. This is common for c-section babies as well. She is very lethargic and tried halfheartedly to nurse a few times, but not too much. I expect to see her little eyeballs a lot more tomorrow :) For now... here she is.

Sitting on the Taggie that Jack brought her for a present.
If you know Jack, you know that giving Caroline a Taggie means that
he is fully adopting her into his circle of trust :) 

Justin and I are going to try and get some sleep tonight (the doctor promised me Ambien!) and I hope that I will still feel this good tomorrow. Overall, I am happy with my recovery and I know that I will feel 100x better when I can take a shower! We look forward to bonding here at the hospital for awhile and then bringing our adorable little bundle home. I was honestly worried that my heart wouldn't have enough room to love Caroline as much as I love Jack...but I was wrong. I am smitten in every way, and I am pretty sure Justin is too. I hear him singing and cooing to her when he thinks I'm not listening ;) 

I will update more as the week goes on. Thank you to all our friends and family for your prayers, thoughts and support today and over the past 40 weeks. We love all of you and we can't wait to share our new baby girl with all of you! And a big thank you to Gigi Crosby for watching our little man while all of this is happening. I feel so much better knowing he's in good hands and I don't have to worry. Xoxoxo!

Reflections

Today, I am 38 weeks + 4 days pregnant. If everything were to happen exactly as it did with Jack, baby girl Crosby will be here tomorrow, at 38+5. I remember standing in our bedroom, alone on a Friday afternoon while Justin was at work and I was supposed to be on bedrest, as I heard a loud "POP!" and felt the gush of my water breaking. Both of us were scared, excited, and above all more than thrilled to meet our baby boy who decided to make a grand and early entrance into the world.

This time, with this baby, things have been much different along the way. I have been in more pain, yes, but it also feels like I have somehow forgotten that there's an actual living, breathing, healthy baby inside of me. Instead, I groan and complain about the aches and pains while I simultaneously take care of Jack, because Jack is real. He's in front of me, crying or laughing, hugging or throwing, doing all those crazy cute ridiculous things that toddlers do. This baby is still an abstract object, something that we all talk about but can't quite materialize in our minds yet.

In a few short days, that will change. Whether it's tomorrow, or the next day, or on Tuesday, she will become REAL. With beautiful eyes, soft and fuzzy skin, that warm new baby smell and a grip on our fingers that will forever break our hearts. It's a GIRL! I was laying in the bath today as a contraction gripped my tummy and I thought, "someday, you will experience this too. Someday, you will be awaiting your own little girl or little boy and be able to feel them move and kick inside of you." And it's horribly sappy and emotional and crazy, but it's true. I am so very excited to finally meet our little girl and put a name to a face. (Literally!)

Early days with Jack were so very hard. I think the only one who knows or remembers this is Justin. I was an emotional wreck. Everything (EVERY.THING.) made me cry. I was tired and scared and worried that every move I made would somehow ruin him for life. It took days, months, or maybe even years to get the confidence in myself as a Mom that I feel I have now. I hope that with a second baby, this will be different. There will be new and different challenges, yes. But I feel that I am able to look past the exhaustion, the emotions, and the fear in order to make more clear-headed decisions. I am not scared this time about having a c-section, or delivering a breech baby (don't Google that...the world out there will tell you that there are all kinds of dangers associated with breech babies. It's not true!) I am not scared about the recovery - the bleeding, the pain, the fatigue. I am just not scared this time. And that, I think, will make for a much more peaceful delivery and welcoming of our new bundle of joy.

Here are a few early pictures of Jack...look at all the wonderful, beautiful, and truly miraculous things we will get to experience in the next week!

Newborn baby boy! 6lb, 8oz... beautiful in every way.

First kiss from Mommy.

Such a proud Daddy! I still love every single thing
about this picture.

Holding my little bundle for the very first time.

He's changed in so many ways, but to me he still looks the same.
We were so very blessed that day.

Jack was an amazing addition to our family. Justin and I can't imagine life without him. He is funny, original, smart, and loving in a way that amazes me daily. I can't wait to see all the ways that this little girl is like him.

Most likely, our next post will be about baby girl's arrival. Justin and I may or may not have decided on her name. Stay tuned! The next week in the Crosby house will be a whirlwind one!!

Baby Poll Update

Here it is.... see who's out or still in!!

Name	Day	Time	Weight	Length	Names
Brooke	Apr 16, 2012	4:00 PM	7lb 6 oz	21 inches	Olivia or Ava Claire
Courtney	Apr 8, 2012	8:00 PM	7 lb 0 oz	20 inches	Emily Kate or Elizabeth Ivey or Caroline/Chloe/Riley/Zoey
Patti	Apr 15, 2012	11:30 AM	6lb 8oz	21 inches	Jillian (!) or Anna Katherine
Vonny	Apr 13, 2012	1:30 PM	7lb 7oz	21 inches	Mackenzie Mary, Kathleen Kelly, Alyssa Sue
Michelle	Apr 17, 2012	7:30 AM	6lb 12oz	21 inches	Caroline
Carey	Apr 17, 2012	8:30 AM	6lb, 4oz	18.5 inches	Caroline Marie / Caroline Sue
Blair	Apr 14, 2012	9:00 AM	7lb 0 oz	19 inches	Caroline Georgia, Caroline Elizabeth, or Kelly Caroline
Sam	Apr 13, 2012	11:02 PM	6lb, 6oz	20 inches	Charlotte Kelly
Tony	Apr 14, 2012	7:45 AM	6lb, 8oz	19 inches	Antoinette Bethany Crosby
Raegan	Tomorrow	Daytime	Small Baby		Pinkie Pink Crosby
Ashley	Apr 15, 2012	10:45 PM	7lb, 2oz	20 inches	Ava Sue or Audrey Elaine
Colin	Apr 16, 2012	10:15 AM	6lb, 6oz	20.5 inches	Scarlett
Nanny	Apr 14, 2012	7:00 AM	6lb, 4oz	21 inches	Jesse Anne
Sara	Apr 11, 2012	3:30 PM	7lb, 1oz	20 inches	Audrey Sue
Justin	Apr 17, 2012	9:45 AM	10lb, 6oz (PLEASE NO)		No comment.
Cara	Apr 15, 2012	8:37 PM	6lb, 4oz	20 inches	Caroline Audrey
Ken	Apr 17, 2012	9:03 AM	6lb, 8oz		Kendra Lee, Aubrey Marie, Caroline Sue, Macy Mae, Mallory Ann
Chrissy	Apr 17, 2012	7:52 AM	6lb, 4oz		Caroline Sue
Holly					Pinkie Pink Crosby
Derry	Apr 17, 2012	6:00 PM	6lb, 6oz	18.5 inches	Caroline Suzanne
Annette	Apr 15, 2012	3:30 PM	7lb, 1oz	20 inches	Caroline Audrey, Madison Farrell, Elizabeth Ann, Emma Kate, Grace Elizabeth, Derryanne or Jill (LOL)